Goodbye, extended version
by Fantony
Summary: I decided to make a longer version of the "Goodbye" one-shot! Shuichi discovers Yuki's got another dark secret... He suffers from a brain tumour and his days are counted. This is the story of their last moments together! *YukiXShuichi*
1. Chapter 1 Dark Secret

_So that's it! For those of you who have read the "Goodbye" one-shot, I decided to try and make a longer version of it. I cut down the story into two pieces (that's why most of the first chapter --except the end-- is identical to the one-shot version, and that'll be the same for the end of the last chapter, which will remain the same end as in the one-shot) and allow Yuki and Shuichi more time together, which is only fair!_

_Plot : Shuichi discovers Yuki's got another dark secret... Yuki indeed suffers from a brain tumour and his days are counted. He just wants to savour each single moment he has left with Shuichi, and make them the happiest of their lives. This is the story of their last days together..._

_Pairing: Yuki x Shuichi, obviously!_

_Disclaimer: I (unfortunately!) do not own any Gravitation characters!_

_Please bear in mind that I'm French, therefore, my English is far from perfect and I do apologize for the mistakes I surely make now and then!!_

_I'll try to update as soon as possible! Well, that's just if you like it. _

* * *

**GOODBYE - CHAPTER ONE - DARK SECRET**

"What the hell are you still doing here ?" I snapped at him. "I thought I'd told you to piss off!"

"Yuki… I…"

Those eyes. Beautiful violet eyes staring at mine. _He perfectly knows how to use them. But I won't fall for his little game. Not again._ I tried to look away, but he wouldn't let me escape. Damn little brat. His thin lips were trembling and tears were forming in the corner of his eyes.

Self defensive counter-attack:

"I have no time to waste with such a cry-baby like you, idiot"

That was pretty lame but that was all I could think of. He let his tears running down his cheeks. I sighed and went to the window, lighting a cigarette. He stood up from the couch and followed my steps. _Will I ever get some peace one day? Sooner than I think, probably... _

"Why do you hate me, Yuki?" he asked through sobs.

I couldn't suppress a smile. I turned around and faced him, trying my best to keep my brow furrowed.

"And why do you always tell stupid lies in order to get at the truth, you prat?"

He looked down and blushed. I gasped. His beauty will never cease to amaze me. He truly was my weakness. I put my hands on his shoulders and made him come closer to me. His eyes bulged with surprise when I lifted his chin with a hand and pressed my lips against his. Could a kiss ever taste better than this? Yes. Each time I kiss him, my heart pounds and I have to hold my breath. And each kiss seems better than the previous one. Blame him for being so gorgeous and sweet. Blame me for having let him trap me in his lovely web in the first place.

"Go and unpack your stuffs" I said firmly once we finally parted away.

He blinked his eyes, still biting his lips to taste what was left of our kiss.

"Really? You let me stay here?"

I nodded. _History just repeats itself all over again_, they say. So true. Argument. Reconciliation. Argument. Reconciliation. He may be an annoying little brat, I just couldn't imagine my life without him anymore. He threw himself in my arms and nearly made me fall over.

"Yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!! Thank you!! I love you so much!!"

"You'd better hurry up before I change my mind" I told him, more fondly than I intended to.

"Well, I'm happy you let me stay because I don't know how I would have managed to pack all my stuffs! I brought so many things here that my bag wouldn't be big enough for all of them anymore! I knew you wouldn't make me leave anyway, so I just put them in there!" He said happily, and crossed the room jumping like a ballerina.

I raised an eyebrow when I saw him open my huge bookcase and that a thousand of things fell on his head, from a Nittle Grasper poster to a large green rubber ring. My mouth twitched and I fought the urge to scream at him but he looked so cute with his pink head emerging from this mountain of rubbish that I just couldn't.

"I'll go and get us something to eat. If you haven't tidied up everything when I'm back, I promise you'll experience the worst moment of your existence!"

I glared at him and he gulped.

"I'll do it, Yuki! Promise! But take your time, pleaaaaase!" he squeaked.

I laughed and made my way to the door.

About forty-five minutes later, I came back home with take away sushis. Unagi sushis. His favourite ones. I pushed the door open and was a bit surprised not to see him running to me in his awful puppy outfit. It usually annoys me a great deal to always be assailed like that at my first step into the flat, but having no one to greet me this time was kinda worse. I closed the door and checked the room. There he was, huddled up on the couch, his head buried in his arms.

"Shuichi"

He startled at his name but didn't make any move.

"What is it?" I asked, trying not to sound too worried.

He lifted his head up. By the look of his face, he had been crying for quite a long time. His eyes were red, and his pale cheeks were wet, tears glittering at the city's lights coming from the window.

"Something wrong with Bad Luck?"

He shook his head. I put the sushis bag on the coffee table and sat at the other end of the couch. A horrible thought crossed my mind.

"It's not that Aizawa bastard again, is it?"

My voice trembled. He shook his head again, and I lost what little patience I had left.

"Well, are you gonna tell me what it is, or are you just gonna spend the whole evening staring stupidly at me like that?" I snapped at him, and immediately regretted telling him off again when I saw that look in his eyes.

He took a deep breath and stood up. He made his way to the phone.

"It is that!" He said, pushing the answering machine button, and not even looking at me. _You've got one message_, the machine said.

"Mister Uesugi, Professor Otanako speaking. I beg you once more to come as quickly as possible to the hospital. If you keep on refusing any treatment, your time will be counted in days instead of weeks. You cannot possibly want that, can you? I am being very serious! Please, call me back as soon as you get that message. Thank you"

_Beeeeeeeep!_

My blood froze in my veins. The moment I had feared most for the past few days had finally come. I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want _him_ to know. Not yet. I wasn't prepared for that. It shouldn't be that way. That was not what I had planned.

Shuichi turned around and looked at me, fits clenched and eyes filled with both sadness and anger. He stayed motionless and didn't say any word but his eyes were speaking for him. Only his chest moved up and down quickly as he was gasping for air. I felt just like a thief caught red-handed and tried to avoid his amethyst eyes for the second time of the day, but failed once again.

I sighed heavily and stood up, taking a cigarette from my pocket and lighting it. My heart stopped beating at the picture of us he had stuck to the lighter.

"This is none of your business, you damn brat!" I mumbled, puffing out the smoke.

"How dare you say that!?" He screamed. "Of course it is my business! In case you wouldn't have noticed, I live with you, I love you and I do happen to care that you are dying, Yuki!"

My eyes bulged at this word. Dying. Indeed. He burst into tears again. I just couldn't face him. I was too much of a coward to look at him straight in the eye. I swallowed hard.

"Help yourself to sushis. They are unagi ones. Your favourite ones if I'm not wrong," I told him in a casual way, and walked to the bedroom.

I closed the door behind me and sat at my desk. There, I buried my head in my hands and started to cry more than I'd never done in my life. Why all this had to happen? Why had he stepped into my life? Last year, I wouldn't have been bothered at all to learn that I had an incurable tumour. No one made me want to stay alive. But now…

He knocked on the door. I didn't reply at first, but he insisted. He usually never knocks on the door.

"Come in" I snarled, quickly wiping my tears away with my sleeve.

He slowly opened the door, hesitated a moment, and then came in and sat on the chair next to me. That was _his_ place. I suddenly felt a wave of guiltiness and still didn't dare to look at him.

"How long? How long have you been lying to me?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"I haven't been lying to you, Shuichi. Just thought it'd be better for both of us if I hid the truth from you, that's all. And anyway, I only got the news last week. The hospital called me while you were getting us ice-creams in the park."

The minute of silence that followed seemed to last an eternity. I could feel his hot breath in my neck. And I could feel an invisible hand crushing my heart inside my chest. I wished I could go back in time and erase everything. Everything but him. He was actually the best thing that happened to me in my life. But of course, I wouldn't tell him that. Too unassertive. Too proud. Even if it can sound self-contradictory. A warm hand on my shoulder made me wince.

"Accept the treatment, Yuki. Please. If you love me…"

"No way"

He retrieved his hand.

"You don't give a fuck about me, do you?!" He screamed angrily.

I lifted my head up. He went on:

"It doesn't come to your mind that I can find you dead in the bed tomorrow morning? You're so stubborn you just wouldn't go to the hospital and try to take all the chances that are left for you to recover?"

"Listen, you damn brat, this is a brain tumour. Cancer. Terminal phase. And I'm not going to recover. Ever. So what change does that make that I die tomorrow or in a few weeks?"

"It changes everything! It'd mean we'd have more time together!"

"More time together?" I sneered. "You don't give a fuck about me neither, you prat, eh?! Do you think I want to spend the little time I have left stuck between four white walls, taking all sorts of medicines that will only allow me more time to feel sorry for myself? I don't want that! I don't want doctors and nurses all around me! I don't want slow perfusions, morphine… I just want to seize the day! With you by my side. I'm trying my best to accept the fate, but I'll not be able to make it if it's not just the two of us, far away from all this bloody stuff! Does that make any sense?" I shouted.

I stopped and gasped for air.

"Yuki" he murmured, eyes full of tears.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed me on my neck.

"What am I gonna do without you?" he whispered in my ear.

"You'll be okay, I promise" I tried to reassure him, running my hand through his hair, but I was not at all convinced myself.

I cupped his face in my hands and gently pressed my mouth against his. He tightened his grip on my shoulders and kissed me more deeply, as if he was trying to persuade himself that time would stop and that I'd never go away.

I could feel his warm tears against my cheeks and it broke my heart.

"Listen Shuichi," I said when we parted away. "Don't cry, please. That will only make things more painful for me"

He rubbed his eyes and swallowed hard.

"I want to savour every single last moment I am allowed to spend with you. You heard what Professor Otanako said, I just don't know how many days I have, but let's make them the happiest ones of our lives…"

"Yuki…"

His lips were trembling again.

"Here's a little deal," I went on, caressing his lower lip with my thumb, "we're both gonna write down things we'd like to do together on little pieces of paper and then we'll put them all into two different bowls: your choices in one, and mine in another one, and from tomorrow, we'll pick up one each one in turn every morning, and we'll just do what's written on the paper. It can be anything! Even the craziest and most expensive stuffs, I really don't mind! As long as we can do it in a day because each minute is going to be precious from now on. What do you think, Shuichi? Do you think Mr K will allow you to take a few days off? There is no gig planned before the end of the month if I remember well…"

He nodded. I grinned at him and he smiled back at me before throwing himself in my arms. Blasted little fool.

* * *

_Don't hesitate to review whether you like it or not!_ :-)


	2. Chapter 2 Sea Breeze

_So that's it! For those of you who have read the "Goodbye" one-shot, I decided to try and make a longer version of it. I cut down the story into two pieces (that's why most of the first chapter --except the end-- is identical to the one-shot version, and that'll be the same for the end of the last chapter, which will remain the same end as in the one-shot) and allow Yuki and Shuichi more time together, which is only fair!_

_Plot : Shuichi discovers Yuki's got another dark secret... Yuki indeed suffers from a brain tumour and his days are counted. He just wants to savour each single moment he has left with Shuichi, and make them the happiest of their lives. This is the story of their last days together..._

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO – SEA BREEZE**

"Come on, Shuichi ! Mix them all and pick up one!" I told him, nearly as excited as a child in front of a Christmas tree.

Shuichi actually raised an eyebrow as he wasn't used to see me that enthusiastic. He hesitated and then plunged his hand into the bowl in which I had put my choices.

He cautiously chose one paper and read it.

His face turned the same green as the pyjamas he was still wearing, and his mouth opened to scream.

"WHAT.THE.FUCK is that, Yuki??"

I was smiling at him slyly, perfectly knowing from the look on his face which paper he had just drawn.

"Anything wrong?" I asked him innocently.

"Of course there's something wrong, you crazy man!" he yelled, one hand clenched, the other crushing the little piece of paper into a small ball. "What were you thinking of?? 'Diving among sharks'!! Is it some kind of joke? It's not because you're going to die that everyone needs to die too!!" He snapped in a cracking voice.

"Here here, you're being a bit harsh with me, aren't you?" I teased him and he blushed, realizing how tactless he had just been. "What's wrong with sharks anyway? I think they are quite fascinating creatures"

"What's wrong with them?? I don't know, maybe it's got something to do with the fact they enjoy a bit of human flesh at dinner??"

"They would never snap at you, damn brat, you don't taste good enough!"

I was laughing my head off. He was fulminating. Teasing him has always been one of my favourite past times, because he gets pissed off so easily and it never ceases to amuse me.

He was about to open his mouth to yell something else but seemed to think better of it, and his face suddenly had the same sad mask I had seen him wear yesterday.

"Alright" he nearly whispered. "If you wanna swim with sharks, then let's do it. As long as it makes you happy, I'll be happy too. Where can we do that?"

My eyes bulged. Shuichi was ready to surpass one of his phobias just to 'make me happy'… No one had ever been so caring with me. The little bugger. _He truly is a treasure_.

"Shuichi," I said, looking directly at his beautiful eyes and pushing a pink hair lock away from them. I placed a slight kiss on his lips. "I was only kidding. I would be a complete bastard to put your precious little life in danger. I would never do such a thing. You should know by now how much I hate it when you are hurt…"

He furrowed his brow.

"You hate it when I am hurt? And how do you think I will feel once I won't have you by my side anymore?" he cried.

My heart stopped beating and I looked down. I wish I could stay by his side forever… But maybe he'll be better without me after all. Find someone less cold, less mean… Someone who deserves his love more than I do. I sighed.

"What about a sunny day on the beach?" I asked, trying to avoid the subject, and wiping his tears with my fingers.

He took my hand in his hand.

"Whatever you want will be fine to me!" He answered with a grin.

I really appreciated the incredible effort he was making to smile and pretend everything was ok. He was so touching. I was overwhelmed by emotions. I fought the urge to throw myself in his arms and cry my head off. Shuichi. _Why do we have to be separated? I love you so much! Why does it have to be like that??_ Life's a shit! And I'm a moron because of course, I didn't tell him all these things… Stupid pride again…

"Shuichi"

His eyes widened.

"Y…yes?"

I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him toward me, forcing him to lie against me. I smiled fondly at the bewildered look on his face.

"Nothing" I said, kissing him on his cheek, my left hand running under his orange sweatshirt and caressing his belly.

"Go and get your swimsuit and your rubber ring!" I whispered in his ear.

"For real?"

I nodded. His face shone like the sun and his eyes became big black ones with glitters in them. He clasped his hands.

"Yeaaaaaaaah!! Yuki and I are going to the beach together!! That is soooooooo greeeeaaaaat!!"

I rolled my eyes. Little fool. He jumped to his feet and made his way to the bedroom. He came back within a minute, wearing a yellow swimsuit and assorted fins, and carrying a fishing net, a rubber dinghy, his green rubber ring around his waist.

"Ready!!" He beamed.

My mouth dropped open at his sight.

"Oh dear! I'll get my stuffs" I said, getting up. "I'd better wrap myself in a blanket. Don't want anyone to see me with such a moron!"

He ignored me and kept on jumping everywhere in the room until he stumbled with his fins and crashed his gorgeous pink head onto the floor.

"Ouch!! My nooooose!!"

"Stop fooling around, you damn brat!" I told him, laughing.

A few hours later, the both of us were sunbathing on a beach among thousands of people. I usually don't enjoy crowded places, but this time, it just felt good. I was hiding myself behind my huge sunglasses, feet buried in the warm sand and hot sea breeze gently caressing my whole body.

Shuichi was on cloud nine. I helped him build a huge sand castle with four towers and a bridge, swam with him, got him an ice-cream, played Frisbee with him… Both of us nearly seemed to have forgotten at least for one day that all this will soon be gone.

My head started to hurt a lot, but I was trying my best to hide it. By 4.00pm, I was exhausted, and just laid on my stomach on the raffia matting. I was half asleep when Shuichi sat on my bottom and I stiffened when I felt something cold on the middle of my back.

"Shuichi, what the hell are you…"

"Well, you wouldn't like to sunburn, would you?" He cut me off.

I was about to yell at him when his delicious hands started applying the coconut scented sunscreen cream, massaging my whole back. _God! Am I already in Heaven?_

"I didn't know you were so talented" I teased him.

He giggled and kept on rubbing my shoulders. I made him roll to his side and laid on him, blocking one of his hand to the ground with mine. Our mouths were nearly touching.

"Yu… Yuki," he said, gasping for air.

"What?"

He was playing nervously with my earring with his free hand.

"Dunno…" He stammered. "It's just… Well… There are many people around us…"

"And then?"

His eyes bulged.

"You usually aren't as demonstrative as that in public," he whispered, blushing.

I took off my sunglasses and looked at him straight in the eye, which only ended making him blush even more.

"What if I just don't care what they think anymore?"

I took his other hand in mine and blocked it to the ground too. I could feel his heart beating fast against my bare chest, and I kissed him fully on the mouth. His lips tasted of salt because of sea water. We both closed our eyes and surrendered to pleasure. I just wished that kiss could last forever.

"Could that be…"

"Yeah it's theeem!! Eiri Yuki and his lover, that guy from Bad Luck!!"

"Oh my god! I can't believe this!"

"This is disgusting!"

"I didn't know he was gay…"

"Is it that famous writer?"

"Where's the camera, darling?"

"Heeeee, they're sooooooooo cute!!"

Sure, I could hear those voices, but they seemed to come from a far distance. Fuck them all! Shuichi didn't seem to pay attention neither. The voices faded away. It was just the two of us. In our very own universe. In a love bubble no one could burst.

* * *

_Please don't hesitate to review, whether you like it or not! :-)_


	3. Chapter 3 Under the umbrella

_So that's it! For those of you who have read the "Goodbye" one-shot, I decided to try and make a longer version of it. I cut down the story into two pieces (that's why most of the first chapter --except the end-- is identical to the one-shot version, and that'll be the same for the end of the last chapter, which will remain the same end as in the one-shot) and allow Yuki and Shuichi more time together, which is only fair!_

_Plot : Shuichi discovers Yuki's got another dark secret... Yuki indeed suffers from a brain tumour and his days are counted. He just wants to savour each single moment he has left with Shuichi, and make them the happiest of their lives. This is the story of their last days together..._

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE – UNDER THE UMBRELLA**

I opened my eyes and blinked at the morning light. Shuichi was sitting next to me in bed and was staring at me, a grin on his face. He was fully clothed already.

"Morning! Have you had a nice night?" he asked, mouth full of chocolate bun.

I rolled my eyes and buried my head under my pillow as an answer.

"Would it hurt to say hello?" He hissed.

"What time is it?" I gnarled from under the pillow.

"Quarter to ten"

I sat up in the bed.

"Why haven't you woken me up??" I snarled.

"Well, you were sleeping like a baby. Can't remember having already seen you sleep that well! It would have broken my heart to wake you up"

It was true. I'd actually hardly slept more than three hours a night for what seemed to be an eternity.

Shuichi turned a page of the daily newspaper he was reading and his eyes bulged.

"What is it?" I asked.

He didn't reply but his mouth had dropped open and his face had reddened a little.

"Shuichi, what is it?" I repeated.

He came back to his senses and looked at me.

"Uh? Oh… nothing," he mumbled, his eyes going back to the paper.

"Then why do you make such a face, if it's nothing?"

"What do you mean?"

He looked even more embarrassed. I held out a long sigh.

"Give it to me"

"Wha…?! No way!"

He jumped out of the bed and ran to the wall, holding the paper tightly to his chest as if it was a precious treasure. I was dying of curiosity.

"I said, give it to me, you damn brat," I articulated every syllable, glaring at him.

His face was now completely red and he swallowed hard.

"Alright," he surrendered, "but you're not gonna like it at all"

He walked back to the bed and held the paper to me.

"I'm gonna make you some coffee"

He turned on his heels, ready to run away.

"Stay where you are, idiot!" I snapped at him.

He stopped dead in his tracks, and turned around to me, his fingers playing nervously at his sweatshirt's strings. I took a deep breath and looked at the paper.

"What the…"

"I told you you were not going to like it," he protested in a little boy voice.

I burst into laugh and Shuichi's incredulous look was absolutely priceless!

The title read "Famous novelist Eiri Yuki and his boy lover, Shuichi Shindo (Bad Luck singer) Beach Day Photo-Story" and there was a double-page of pictures of us (some were quite good I must admit) with silly comments on each one just like "Yuki, do you think the colour of my swimsuit suits my complexion?" or "Let's try and fish a shrimp, Shuichi!". I hadn't seen something so laughable in ages. I really pitied the journalists. Shuichi hesitated and then joined in laughing hysterically, which made me laugh even more. There was no cuter laughter on Earth than Shuichi's! It would bright my day anytime.

"Anyway," I finally managed to say, "it is high time I pick up one of your papers, it's nearly ten and I should get ready quickly if we don't want to waste any time. Bring me your bowl"

He cast an inquisitive look, went to the kitchen and came back with… what seemed to be the bowl in which he had dipped his toasts into hot chocolate milk at breakfast. As a proof, I noticed he still had dried chocolate milk around his mouth. My whole face turned into a grimace. I tried to keep cool, because, well, I am.

"Shuichi, what am I supposed to do with your dirty breakfast bowl?"

He blinked his eyes and then blushed when he finally understood what I was on about. Sometimes, I wonder if his neurons –according he's got some— are still connected to his brain! But his naive and happy-go-lucky sides were actually part of his charm, and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

"Oh, you mean… you were talking about the bowl with the little papers in it?"

I nodded.

"Yes, it is my turn today. Have you already forgotten about it?"

He shook his head frantically and went back to the kitchen. Fifteen seconds later, he was jumping onto the bed in his awful puppy costume, holding the bowl in his mouth and wagging his tail. Oh dear.

"It's been a while," I mumbled, glaring at the dog suit and taking the bowl.

He grinned. Damn brat.

I closed my eyes and drew a paper.

"Going to the cinema?" I read aloud slowly, a flabbergasted look on my face.

Shuichi was slightly embarrassed.

"Well, is there something wrong with that?" He asked.

"No, it's just… Well, I had been expecting much more eccentric stuffs from you, like flying to the moon or riding a dromedary, but I suppose going to the cinema is not that bad"

"I've always dreamt of going to the cinema with someone I love. That's soooo romantic!" Shuichi explained, with dribble on the corner of his mouth and eyes full of stars.

A bit later, we were queuing outside the cinema when an enormous pink bunny in blue dungarees glomped Shuichi, making him fall backwards on the ground.

"Shuichiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

Ryuichi Sakuma. It was hard to believe that loony was one of the world's most famous singers. Anyway, even though I hate to admit it, I've always been jealous of that dumb prat. Shuichi once said Sakuma had changed his life. He was his idol and he loved him to bits and I was pretty certain that Sakuma saw more than a friend in Shuichi. If he was not that kind (or that stupid??), no doubt he would have tried to "steal" him from me. I sighed.

"Hey, Mister Yuki, how are you doing?" Sakuma asked, waving at me with his big rabbit costume hands.

Stupid. Definitely.

"Eiri…"

I looked up. Tohma and Noriko were standing next to me. I should have known Sakuma wouldn't hang around without his two sidekicks.

Tokyo. Nearly thirteen millions inhabitants, and yet it seems you can't take a step without bumping into the same persons all over again, as if there was an invisible force attracting us to each other. And we all gravitate around each other endlessly. Crazy swirl.

Noriko joined Shuichi and Sakuma, whereas Tohma looked at me straight in the eye. Even if his face looked peaceful, I knew anger was boiling inside him.

"Eiri," he spoke softly, "what are you playing at? Mika-san and I have been worried like hell about you. She tried to call you a hundred times but you would never reply"

How kind of my sister to worry about me. Pah.

"Seventeen times actually," I sneered, defying him.

He shrugged.

"That just doesn't matter. Why do you never reply?"

"Just didn't want to talk, that's all"

"Look at you, Eiri. You're paler than ever and you seem to have lost a lot of weight within a few days. Is it Shuichi-san again? He's such an annoying little brat at times. He will only bring you more and more stress, I already warned you about him, he…"

"Don't you dare speaking of Shuichi like that, I'm in love with him and there's nothing you can do about it!" I shouted at him.

Maybe a little too loudly because Shuichi and Sakuma suddenly stopped their childishness, Noriko stopped yelling at them and her mouth dropped open, and dozens of people were actually staring at the scene, forming a circle around us. I couldn't believe I had said that aloud, but fuck them all! It was the truth. I loved Shuichi and what was the point in keeping pretending I didn't? Above all now that my time was counted. That was the least I owed him.

"Fine," Tohma said with a fake smile before furrowing his brow and adding "But I'll find out what it is, Eiri. Sooner or later"

"Sure, I don't worry about that. You always achieve your ends in this fucking life, Seguchi."

He held out a long sigh and put a gloved hand on my cheek, stroking it softly and looking intensively at me with his deep blue eyes. He had the face of a porcelain doll and the voice of a little boy. Who would believe he is such a powerful businessman who can be so manipulative at times? Still, I couldn't hate him. He was the last link to my past. He was the one who hugged me that bloody day in New-York and who told me it was his entire fault and that everything would be ok. His only fault was actually to be so over-protective with me. I just couldn't stand it anymore. But could I blame him for that? We had at least one thing in common: guilt. And I knew how it felt like to want to be forgiven. Except the person whom I wanted to forgive me was dead. Dead.

"Eiri…," he said sadly, taking me out of my torpor, "how many times did I tell you to call me 'Brother'?"

I pushed his hand away and looked at him directly in the eye.

"If you care so much about me, 'Brother', then just leave me alone and mind your own business, for once"

Tohma frowned and I'd swear I'd seen tears forming in his eyes. He was breathing heavily. I was already feeling guilty for being so harsh with him, because he only wanted me to be happy, after all. But this time, he had gone beyond the bounds. I hated it when he tried to interfere in my life, telling what's good or not for me. And I hated the way he always tried to separate Shuichi from me.

"Noriko, Ryu… Come on, we're gonna be late for the interview"

He cast one last sad glance at me and at Shuichi who looked away with embarrassment, and turned on his heels, followed by his two friends, who didn't dare to speak.

"Say hello to my beloved sister for me, will you, Tohma?" I teased him.

He flinched but didn't turn around. I knew I had hurt him a lot and I already regretted it, but I wouldn't let him spoil my last days with Shuichi. The crowd dispelled.

"Yu… Yuki… Are you ok? We can go back home, if you want"

I tore my gaze away from Tohma's silhouette and looked to my right to see an overanxious Shuichi. I shook my head and smiled at him.

"Old friends quarrel. Nothing to worry about. Have you chosen which movie you want to see?"

"He really seems to love you and to care for you," he whispered, ignoring my question.

I put an arm around his shoulders and tickled his hip.

"Are we feeling a bit jealous here, Mister Shindo?"

He flushed.

"What should I say myself about our dear Ryuichi then? The two of you seem pretty close…"

"Ryu-san is just a good friend!" he protested.

"And Tohma's married to my sister, see?"

He nodded and then looked all embarrassed.

"Is it true what you told him?" he asked, trying to avoid my eyes.

"What?"

"You know… that… err… you're in love with me and that there's nothing he can do against that?"

I smiled and kissed him on the forehead.

"Hurry up, you little bugger, or we're gonna miss the beginning of the movie!"

We entered the cinema and Shuichi immediately ran to the popcorn machine, sticking his nose against the machine glass. I rolled my eyes fondly.

"Hi," I said to the fortyish something spectacled woman at the reception.

She lifted her head up and her mouth dropped open when she saw me.

"Oh my… Mister Yuki… You… Here…" she babbled, blushing. "I'm one of your biggest fans! I've read all your books, they're absolutely fantastic!"

"Well, thank you."

I just hated it when people were too much fawning and I started to feel ill at ease, above all with all the people queuing behind me

I took my wallet out of my pocket.

"When will your next book get published?"

I froze. It actually only dawned on me that there would be no next book. Eiri Yuki would disappear as soon as Eiri Uesugi would.

"Mister Yuki, are you okay?" The woman asked with a worried look.

A hand gently pushed me away and a pink head appeared in front of me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Two tickets for 'An endless love', please!" Shuichi said, coming to my rescue, a huge pack of popcorn in his hand.

He beamed at me. Little bugger. Always there when you need him. Even when you don't, come to think of it. I smiled at him with gratitude.

The woman glanced at me incredulously and then at Shuichi.

"Oh, and you must be Mister Shindo?!"

Shuichi grinned. Unlike me, he always likes it when people recognize him and show him attention. That's what he has always been hoping for, after all. Fame and above all, recognition.

"Would you mind giving me your autograph? My daughter is fond of you! She's fifteen. She's going to your concert at the end of the month. She's gonna be so jealous when I tell her you came here today!!"

People behind us were starting to get impatient. Shuichi signed on a cinema program, and the woman gave him the tickets in exchange of his money.

"Room 5, second door on the left. Take care of yourself!"

He took my hand and squeezed it before placing a slight kiss on it.

"I know you don't like it at all, Yuki. I'm sorry I've put you through all that."

I shook my head and offered him a weak smile. As long as he was by my side, any place would be the right one to be.

The following minute, we were sitting in a huge dark room. I couldn't remember when was the last time I had been to the cinema. Probably seven years ago. New-York City. But I'd rather not think about that. That was ages ago and that didn't matter anymore. The ice-creams and chocolate bars ads ended and the movie started. I couldn't even remember what it was called and I wasn't even looking at the screen when the title appeared, but I didn't mind. I only had eyes for my young lover next to me. He was so totally absorbed in that sappy movie he didn't even notice I was staring at him and that I wasn't paying any attention to what was going on on the screen. It was as if the entire world had stopped existing around him. He would only absently eat a mouthful of popcorn now and then. His beautiful eyes sparkled in the darkness and tears ran down his cheeks when the policeman told the main actor his wife had been killed. I found him so touching I just wanted to hug him forever and never let him go. I put a hesitating arm around him, as if he was such a precious thing I didn't even dare to touch him, and I felt relieved when he smiled at me and rested his head on my shoulder. I stroked his cheek. After what had happened in New-York, I had wished I were dead nearly every single day of my life. Until I met him that night in the Park. _Shuichi_. He had breathed new life into me. He was everything I wasn't: happy-go-lucky, kind, funny, exuberant… and exactly what was missing in my existence. He was the one who made me feel alive again. And now that I wanted to stay alive, I just couldn't. Irony of fate. It was so unfair somehow. Tears ran down my cheeks too, but it had nothing to do with the movie.

The light turned on again and filled the room.

"Oh my god!! That was awesome!! Best movie I've ever seen! Usagaka-san was incredible! It was so moooooving when he…"

Shuichi glanced at me and I reckon he noticed my eyes were red.

"Ooooh, it made you cry too? I knew it! That is sooooo cooooooool!!" He exclaimed in his usual high-pitched voice.

"Yukiiiiiiii! I love it so much when you get so lovey-doveeeey!!"

I rolled my eyes and smiled, trying to ignore that the whole room was staring at us.

It was raining outside.

"See? Who was right eh? We are lucky I insisted so much that you take the umbrella, aren't we, Yuki?"

There were times I felt I could murder him for being such an annoying little brat but this time, I was just finding him cute.

"Yeah, right," I replied fondly, opening the big black umbrella. Shuichi had a worried look on his face.

"Maybe we should call a taxi. Is your head okay? You look terrible…"

"Well, why, thank you," I sneered and he blushed. My head felt like it was going to split open, but I didn't want to spoil everything so I decided not to tell him. "And no, it's okay. I'd rather walk. Really"

As we were walking down the street, I glanced at the giant ad for Bad Luck's new album. On the foreground, a gigantic Shuichi was holding a microphone and singing. His picture stood out from the line of grey sky and buildings. That damned Sakuma was right for once: Shuichi is sparkly. And I am not saying that just because of his colourful hair and clothes, he brought sparkles to my life because he sparkles from the inside. He can cheer up anyone without even realizing it. I suddenly felt his gaze on me and came back to my senses.

"Are you staring at Bad Luck's ad?" He asked with what seemed to be hope in his voice.

I looked at him from the corner of my eye and nodded.

"Don't you think I am gorgeous on that picture??" He beamed.

I laughed. Blasted fool. I stopped and looked at him straight in the eye.

"You definitely are. And not only on this picture"

As usual, his eyes widened and he blushed. I cupped his chin with my free hand and kissed him. Right in the middle of the street where busy umbrellas were making their way in every direction, not even paying attention to us.

Isn't umbrella a great invention? Small roof against the rain. Comfy shelter against the world. We were safe under it and nothing and no-one could affect us. Shuichi. Myself. Just the two of us in our own little universe. Again.

* * *

_Well, today is my birthday and I was a bit inspired so I wrote a third chapter to Goodbye. I know there are a lot of English mistakes, but I'm just not bothered to check right now! lol. Don't hesitate to review whether you like it or not! :-)_


	4. Chapter 4 Patchwork

_So that's it! For those of you who have read the "Goodbye" one-shot, I decided to try and make a longer version of it. I cut down the story into two pieces (that's why most of the first chapter --except the end-- is identical to the one-shot version, and that'll be the same for the end of the last chapter, which will remain the same end as in the one-shot) and allow Yuki and Shuichi more time together, which is only fair!_

_Plot : Shuichi discovers Yuki's got another dark secret... Yuki indeed suffers from a brain tumour and his days are counted. He just wants to savour each single moment he has left with Shuichi, and make them the happiest of their lives. This is the story of their last days together..._

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR – PATCHWORK**

I opened my eyes and instinctively reached out a hand to the right side of the bed. To my surprise, the place was cold and empty. I glanced at the alarm clock. 3. 55 Am. Where the hell could he be at that time of the night? I sat at the edge of the bed, holding my aching head in my hands. That's when I heard his sobs. I stood up in the dark, already regretting the warmth of the duvet, and silently made my way to the living room. There he was again, crying on the sofa, arms wrapped around his knees. He didn't even notice me, and I stared at him, heart-broken.

"Didn't I tell you not to cry?" I finally said.

He winced.

"Gee, Yuki, you scared the hell out of me!"

I sat next to him.

"Why are you crying anyway?"

_As if I didn't know the answer!_

"Just because," he shrugged, curling up beside me.

I put my hand on his head and began to stroke his hair.

"I told you, everything's gonna be alright," I lied.

He turned to face me.

"No it's not! And you know that as well as I do!" He yelled at me, tears running down his cheeks. "I've always trusted you, Yuki, but this time I just can't"

He buried his face into my neck and I held him tight, not knowing what to say.

I don't know how long we stayed like that in silence, all I know is that we ended falling back to sleep.

_"Ima mo todokanu hikari no yukue azayaka ni mau omoi o egakou, michibiku kotoba ga koborete shimawanu you ni utsuru toki o sorenaideeeeeeeee…"_

I awoke with a start, nearly expecting to find that damn Sakuma in the room when I realised it was Shuichi's phone ringing on the coffee table. Dammit. I shook him.

"Shuichi, your phone!"

"Huh?" he mumbled.

"Your phone!" I screamed in his ears, not happy to have been awoken by such an annoying song.

This time, he opened his eyes and grabbed the phone in a hurry.

"Hello? … Hey, don't yell at me! You've just roused me! … Shoot me?? … Wha...?? … Yeah, right, I'm coming!"

He hung up the phone and stood up in panic.

"Oh my! It was K. I have a radio talk show with Bad Luck in forty-five minutes and the others already are in the studio! I had completely forgotten that!! Do you mind if I leave you on your own? It's just a matter of a couple of hours…" he asked with embarrassment.

Yes, I actually did mind. My time was counted and "a couple of hours" was quite a long time to me. But it wouldn't have been fair to prevent him from going to work. He had to carry on his life. With or without me. I shook my head and smiled at him.

"No, it's okay. As long as you draw a paper before leaving, so that we know what to do next"

"I warn you," he said, coming back with the bowl in his hands, "if it's something along the lines of feeding a crocodile or taming a lion, you can go to hell!"

I laughed.

"Thought you'd do anything as long as it makes me happy?" I smirked.

"Yeah, well, _almost_ anything" he replied in an impatient tone.

He took out a paper out of the bowl and read it. His face relaxed.

"Hot-air balloon flight, eh? I kinda like the idea"

"Shall I try to book a flight for this afternoon then?"

He smiled and nodded, and then looked at his watch.

"Twenty to nine!! I'm sooooo late!!"

He put a slight kiss on my cheek.

"Be good while I'm away!"

He ran to the door and slammed it. Then the door opened again.

"I should be back at about eleven o'clock, Yuki!"

And again.

"Wait for me to get lunch!"

And again.

"I love you Yukiiiiiiii!"

I rolled my eyes. Typically Shuichi.

"Go away or K will shoot you!"

He gulped and disappeared. Blasted little fool.

* * *

About ten minutes later, the phone rang.

"What is it again?" I asked, not even checking the name on the screen and in a tone which sounded more amused than irritated.

Sobs came from the other end of the line, and they were not Shuichi's. I sighed.

"Tohma…"

"Oh Eiri-kun…" He sniffed. "I can't believe you didn't tell me…"

"I reckon you've already made your little investigation?" I sneered.

"Well, I just called the hospital and Professor Otanako told me everything"

"I knew you would find out, but I didn't know you'd be so quick"

He burst into tears.

"Come on! Don't cry!"

"I'm not sure I can deal with that, Eiri!"

I was a little annoyed. Shouldn't I be the one who cries?

"Does my sister know?"

"Not yet… Oh, please, let me come to your place!"

"I don't think it's a good idea…"

He cried even more.

"Why?? Do you hate me so much you don't even want to see me again?"

"Don't be silly! I do not hate you, Tohma. You should know by now. I just want to deal with that on my own"

"On your own with Shuichi," he said with a hint of irony.

"Yeah, well. At least he understands me"

Tohma gasped. I knew he would not insist because he would never do a thing against my will. It's always amazed me how hard he tried to please me.

"Alright," he resigned. "If there's anything I can do, you know where to find me"

"There's nothing that can be done, Tohma"

He sighed.

"I know"

He was about to hang up when an idea crossed my mind.

"Tohma, wait! Maybe there's actually something you can do for me"

"Yes?"

His voice was full of hope.

"Do you remember the day you took me on a hot-air balloon flight for a Nittle Grasper special promotion day? Do you still have contacts with the company that organized the flights? …"

* * *

It was about 11.30 am. Shuichi should come back home anytime now. He should actually already be there. He was late and I was nearly getting impatient about it. I had cooked one of his favourite dishes, and dressed the table with beautiful green nap and napkins, and I just couldn't wait to see his face once he'd see that. _Gee! I do sound like the perfect housewife! That's freaky!_ At least, cooking had kept my mind busy and prevented me from thinking too much about my earlier conversation with Tohma.

Knock on the door. _Huh? So he finally learnt some good manners and knocks on the door now?_

"About time!" I yelled when I opened the door, "you're late, you damn brat!"

I nearly fainted when I fell face to face with Ryuichi Sakuma, holding his horrible bunny tight in his arms.

"Hi there, Eiri-san!" he greeted me with such an enthusiastic voice.

"You! What are you doing here? How is it you managed to get here without even using the entry phone?" I snapped at him, blocking the entrance with my arm.

"Oh that," he replied, still grinning, "it's your neighbour, that really kind old lady, she arrived at the same moment as me, so she let me in. She even recognized me and said she loved my songs! Isn't it great?! Even old ladies listen to my discs, this is soooooo cool!"

_Is there no limit to his stupidity? _

"Say hello to Eiri-san, Kumagoro!" he said, waving his stuffed-bunny's leg at me.

_No__. _

I rolled my eyes.

"Listen, Shuichi's not here right now, so goodbye!"

I slammed the door.

"But it's you I've come to talk to, Eiri-san!" I heard him scream behind the door.

I raised an eyebrow. Now I was being intrigued. Last time I was involved in a real chat with that dumbass was a few years ago, when Nittle Grasper split up and that Tohma insisted that I talked Sakuma into going to the USA. It seemed to be an eternity ago. I opened the door again, and glared at him.

"Well, are you gonna let me in or do I have to make my little speech on the door mat?"

"I'd rather you stay on the door mat, actually"

He burst into tears.

"Eiri-san, why are you so cruel with me? Waaaaaaaaaaaaa….!"

"Alright, alright" I snarled, grabbing him by his sweatshirt, "come in but shut the hell up, for god's sake!"

"Thank yoooooou!!"

He had already stopped crying.

"You've got five minutes, no more!" I warned him, making my way to the sofa.

"Gee!! You've got a huge place, Yuki! But so cold and empty! Just like you in fact"

I stopped dead and gritted my teeth. Worst thing is that he was saying that in a very light and innocent tone!

"I thought being a novelist was quite a well-paid job. Are you too poor to get yourself some other pieces of furniture?"

I clenched my fits, turned around, and beat the shit out of him.

"I said: shut the hell up!"

"Awww, that hurt! Meanie!" he cried, flapping his arms like a chicken.

I was really losing my patience here. I sat down on the sofa, took off my glasses and placed them on the coffee table.

"So, what have you come here for?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.

His face had come back to serious. Strange guy.

"Tohma told me everything. He's devastated. I'm so sorry for you. I really am."

I should have known Seguchi was under all that. I frowned.

"If he sent you to convince me to see doctors, then you're wasting your time, and so is he."

He shook his head frantically.

"No! … Well, he actually did ask me to do so, but I told him you were the only one who could decide what was right for you"

"Good boy. You're speaking sense for once" I sneered. "Anyway, I warn you, if you tell anyone about that, and I'm mostly thinking of the media here, I'll kill your damn bunny!"

_I can't believe I've __said such a ridiculous thing! But since it's his weakness… _

"You wha….?? Don't you dare touching Kumagoro!" He yelled, holding his plush toy even more tightly to his chest.

I glared at him with a look that said I was being very serious. He gulped and sat down next to me, wearing his serious face back.

"So, how do you cope with that, Eiri-san?"

"Oh, pretty good, thank you! I'm actually overjoyed to know I can die at any moment!" I smirked.

"Alright, that was quite a dumb question," he admitted.

"Indeed, but coming from you, it is no surprise, is it?"

He frowned.

"I'm not the stupid brat you think I am!" He protested.

"Really?" I challenged him.

"Yeah, really. Just like you're not the mean bastard you try so hard to pretend to be."

I sniggered.

"We all wear a mask, don't we?" He went on. "I reckon I'm just jealous of you, because no matter how unpleasant you can be, people always turn to you in the end, as if an invisible force attracted them to you."

I clapped my hands.

"Such a good analyse, Mister Psychologist. Should I lie on the couch and tell you about my whole life now? Anyway, I suppose you haven't come around my place just to pity me and my unfortunate fate, have you?"

"Indeed. I've come here for Shuichi. I'm worried about him," he said, looking at his feet.

"Worried?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid he will never get over your death."

This time, I was the one to look away.

"Well, I do believe you'll take great care of him and try your best to help him," I snapped.

_Is it jealousy burning in my stomach?_

"I'll give him all my support, of course, but I have no intention to replace you, and even if I did, Shuichi would never let that happen. You will stay his one and unique love, I know that for sure."

He was now looking at me straight in the eye, and I fought back tears.

"You see, I fell in love with Shuichi the minute I heard him sing for the first time, but soon enough, I realized he had only eyes for you. Once again, I tried my best to be the sweetest guy on Earth with him, while all you did was treating him bad and hurting him on numerous times, but he would always come back to you. I hated you each time you made him cry and I could have murdered you the day I learnt you had left Tokyo without even warning him. But still, I would never have interfered because all I want is Shuichi's happiness and you unfortunately seem the only one who can make him happy. Whenever you're around him, his face is bright and his eyes sparkle. I don't think you even realize just how much you mean to him, Eiri-san. That's why I'm worried. Your death is going to destroy him, above all if you leave without telling him how much he means to you too…"

"Who do you think you are to tell me what…"

"I know you much more than you think," He cut me off, "and I know you've never freely opened your heart to him. That's because you're afraid. Afraid of being in love and afraid of being hurt again. I am asking you this one favour though, in the name of the love we both share for Shuichi, please tell him how you really feel about him before it's too late, or he will spend the rest of his life wondering whether you sincerely loved him or not, and I think you know perfectly well how it feels. Wouldn't have things been less hurtful for you if Kitazawa-sama had expressed his true feelings toward you?"

My eyes bulged at the mention of _his_ name and I stood up, clenching my fits.

"How dare… You bastard! Get out of here!" I snapped at him.

"Not before I make you promise to do it!" he said, stubbornly.

My face was bright red and my eyes burnt with fury.

"Get. Out. Of. Here. Right. Now!"

He sighed and threw a last glance at me before making his way out.

"Just try to think about it, Yuki," he said, before closing the door behind him.

I was panting and my whole body trembled. I had to sit back to calm myself.

* * *

A minute later, the door opened. _That damned Sakuma won't leave me alone, eh?!_

"Fuck off, you brat!" I yelled.

"Yu… Yuki?"

A pink head emerged in the living-room.

"It's not a very nice way to welcome your lover, you know?"

I nearly blushed. Dammit.

"Sorry I thought it was…"

"Ryuichi?" he cut me off. "I just bumped into him, he wouldn't tell me why he was here, said he was in a hurry, but he told me you were pretty upset"

I sniggered.

"Upset, yeah, you bet!"

"What happened?"

He sat next to me and pushed locks of hair away from my eyes. I furrowed my brow.

"Are you okay? You look very pale and your face is covered in sweat"

He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and started to wipe my face delicately.

It is so nice to have someone who really cares of you. I still haven't got used to it.

"Tohma and Ryuchi know about my condition" I told him.

From the look on his face, I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I haven't told them. Tohma found out by speaking to Professor Otanako"

Relief fell upon his face. He knew I wouldn't say any more word about it, so he just changed the subject. Blasted little fool.

"Sorry for being late. We had to sign hundreds of autographs after the radio talk show. They said fans had been waiting outside for us for hours!"

I smiled at him fondly. He had only been away a few hours but I had missed him to bits.

Shuichi suddenly sniffed the air.

"There's a smell of burning, isn't there?"

"Shit!!"

I ran to the kitchen, grabbed the potholder and opened the oven. Nick of time!

Shuichi had followed my steps. I turned around, dish in hands, and found him staring at me with eyes filled with wonder.

"Yukiiiii! You did all that for me??" he asked in a dreamy tone.

"No, it's for Tohma, why do you ask?"

His smile vanished.

"Of course, it's for you, you damn brat!"

I just had the time to place the dish on the table before he threw himself in my arms and kissed me deeply on the lips, holding me tight.

"I love you so much!!"

"Hey, I'm choking!" I said, pushing him away.

He munched my ear and I gasped.

"You.Damn.Brat!"

He giggled and took a seat. I smiled.

Looking at the way he just swallowed up all the food, I could tell he quite appreciated my surprise and his eyes widened when I took the dessert out of the fridge. Strawberry ice-cream with Chantilly cream and strawberry Pockys.

"Waaaa… Yuki! You know how to please me, don't you?"

Once he had gulped his dessert, I stood up and placed myself behind him, wrapping my arms around him.

"You haven't forgotten we are ballooning this afternoon, have you? It's at 6.00 pm, the best atmospheric conditions to fly being at dawn or just before the sunset, but we need to leave home at about 4.30 pm, it's an hour driving away from here. Anyway, it's only two o'clock, so we've got a little bit of time to kill before we go…" I explained with a malicious smile.

I kissed him on his neck and whispered "Follow me" in his ear. He winced and blushed.

* * *

The white and pale green hot-air balloon was standing in the middle of the field. I stopped the car.

"Mister Seguchi!" Shuichi exclaimed when he got out of the Mercedes and fell face to face with my brother-in-law.

"How are you, Mister Shindo?" Tohma asked, smiling.

"Tohma arranged everything for us about the air-balloon" I explained to Shuichi, who looked a bit lost.

I turned to Tohma.

"And I really appreciate the effort"

"Eiri…" he whispered, staring at me with a concerned look.

I hesitated but finally hugged him. I could feel him holding his breath. I took a step back from him.

"Thank you. Brother"

His eyes widened and he remained speechless a few seconds before smiling at me.

"You're welcome, Eiri-kun. Enjoy the flight and just give me a call when you're back so that they get back the balloon. I won't be far."

I nodded.

Shuichi and I stepped into the gondola. He seemed a bit worried but tried his best to hide it. The guys who had prepared the balloon for us detached it from the ground and it slowly took off.

"Yuki! Aren't these people staying with us?" yelled a panic-stricken Shuichi.

"Well, that wouldn't be that romantic if they stayed with us, would it?" I smirked.

"You mean you can make it fly yourself??" he asked, flabbergasted.

"I learnt how to do it ages ago, at least. Let's just hope I still can do it! Are you afraid?"

He shook his head and smiled fondly.

"Is there anything you can't do, Yuki?"

I smiled back at him.

"Told you, you hit the jackpot when you kidnapped my heart, you little fool"

"Well, you always have to give back things you have stolen, don't you? I just wish I could keep your heart forever," he mumbled, looking at his feet.

I lifted up his chin and pressed my lips against his.

"But you _can_"

The balloon had now reached quite a decent altitude and the roads, and fields, and meadows, and trees seemed more and more little. Green, orange, yellow… They looked like a beautiful giant patchwork quilt. I wrapped my arms around Shuichi, who was staring in marvel at the landscape that was unfolding beneath his feet.

"Yuki, it's so beautiful," he whispered.

White clouds were surrounding us and the sun was beginning to set, giving the sky some beautiful shades of orange and red. The only sound that could be heard was the regular whisper of the hot-air balloon burner. Silence. Peace. Just the two of us. Once again, we had managed to escape the hubbub of this world and come back to our own little universe…

* * *

_Thanks for reading!_

_Please don't hesitate to review, whether you like it or not! :-)_


	5. Chapter 5 Autumn Picnic

_So that's it! For those of you who have read the "Goodbye" one-shot, I decided to try and make a longer version of it. I cut down the story into two pieces (that's why most of the first chapter --except the end-- is identical to the one-shot version, and that'll be the same for the end of the last chapter, which will remain the same end as in the one-shot) and allow Yuki and Shuichi more time together, which is only fair!_

_Plot : Shuichi discovers Yuki's got another dark secret... Yuki indeed suffers from a brain tumour and his days are counted. He just wants to savour each single moment he has left with Shuichi, and make them the happiest of their lives. This is the story of their last days together..._

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE - AUTUMN PICNIC**

"Morning" I mumbled when I entered the kitchen in my dark violet pyjamas.

The room was filled with a mix of coffee and hot chocolate scents. Shuichi was standing at the sink. He had dressed the table, placed fresh yellow flowers into the vase and bought croissants from the French bakery.

He turned around and smiled at me.

"Yuki! How are you feeling today?"

"Pretty good" I lied, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

Terrible in fact. I had been awoken by a violent headache and I was feeling so dizzy that standing on my feet was quite a difficult task, but I didn't want to spoil the day. I didn't have the right to. I took a seat.

"Want some coffee?" Shuichi asked.

I nodded and he poured some into my cup. He then poured hot chocolate into his bowl and sat in front of me, still smiling. He took a croissant and bit into it.

"Help yourself!" He said mouth full of food. "They're delicious!"

I stared at him eating the croissant in no more than three mouthfuls and smiled. I knew that even that was a privileged moment and I needed to savour it.

"You've been through a lot of trouble this morning, haven't you?" I said, sipping at my coffee.

He grinned at me, apparently happy that I noticed his efforts. Yes, it would hurt me to say 'Thank you', nearly as much as saying 'Forgive me', 'I'm sorry', 'I was wrong', or worse, 'I love you'. Many times I've tried to say those words, but somehow they just seem unable to leave my mouth. I know Shuichi would die to hear them sometimes but I just can't help it. And maybe he likes it better that way, after all.

"Yuki, are you okay?" Shuichi's high-pitched voice took me out of my torpor.

"Yeah, I was just lost in my thoughts" I replied, looking up to meet his concerned look. "Nothing to worry about" I hastened to add.

His features relaxed.

"Hey, this is your turn, by the way!" He exclaimed, pushing his bowl of little papers toward me. "Come on! You've got to pick up one of my choices today!"

"Yeah, right" I said, taking the bowl.

My heart froze when I looked down at it.

"There are only two left…" I whispered.

That just reminded me that time was passing by and that my days were counted. I looked at Shuichi's eyes and realised he had read my mind.

"Yuki… I'm sure I can come out with many other ideas!" He exclaimed in a fake enthusiastic tone.

I nodded, picked up one paper and read it silently. 'Make a video of us'.

I raised an eyebrow.

"What is it, Yuki?"

"A video?" I asked suspiciously.

Shuichi blinked his big eyes at me.

"Yeah, you know… we could go for a walk or something, and film ourselves…"

Oh, that kind of video… I held out a sigh of relief. Damn my dirty mind!

"And the point is?"

Shuichi's face turned a little red and he tried to hide himself behind his bowl of hot chocolate.

"Err… I don't know… just thought it would be fun… and…"

Got it.

"Want to make a remembrance video so that you can keep a little bit of me when I'm gone, right?"

He put his bowl down on the table and looked at me. His eyes were watering. He gulped and nodded.

"Yuki… I… "

I felt both sad and moved. Sad because it reminded me for the second time within a few minutes that my days were counted, moved because my little lover wanted "remembrances" of me… I stood up and bent to cup his face with both my hands. I looked at him straight in the eye.

"It's okay, Shuichi. Only thing is I don't have a camcorder"

His face brightened.

"I've got one! Hiro lent me his the other day!"

Chibi Shuichi ran to the living-room and came back with his orange and black bag. He then started to rummage through it and to get all sorts of things out of it. A plastic Eiffel Tower, a very old Teddy Bear which missed an arm, a multicoloured rubber ball, a schoolgirl uniform (yeah, THAT one…), a skateboard, Mickey Mouse ears… I wonder how he can even keep all that in such a small bag. I sipped at my coffee, pretending to ignore the whole thing but still watching from the corner of my eye. I nearly choked on my coffee and spat it all out when I saw him take out my last novel (I didn't even know that brat could read), wedged between… two Sakuma's videos!! He followed my gaze to the book.

"Oh yeah, you'll have to sign that one for me, Yuki" He said absently, now putting his whole head into the bag.

Patience has its limits. The anger I had felt boiling in my stomach made its way to my head and I was ready to spread my venom. I opened my mouth to shout but he beat me to it.

"Aaaaah! Here it is!" He screamed, brandishing the camcorder triumphantly in the air as if it was the Olympic flame. "Tadaaaaaaa!"

The absolutely cute look on his face made me forget why I was angry at him. Damn brat. I smiled.

"How about a little picnic in a park then?" I proposed.

He joined his hands and his eyes became big black ones with glitters and tears of joy in them.

"Yu…"

He ran toward me, arms wide open ready to embrace me. I stopped him with a hand on his forehead and crashed his head onto the floor.

"…ki" he mumbled against the tiled floor.

I put on my dark green apron.

"I'll cook and you prepare the picnic basket" I told him.

He got back on his feet, blood running from his nose and a front tooth falling from his mouth.

"What a wonderful idea, Yuki"

* * *

Later in the morning, I was cooking rice and shiitake mushrooms when I felt arms around my waist.

"Do you know you look damn sexy in that apron?" he asked to my back.

I turned around, a spoon in hand.

"Of course I know that, you damn brat! I would look sexy even if I wore rags!"

He grinned and stood on tiptoe to place a kiss on my mouth.

"That smells yummy!" He exclaimed, sniffing the pan.

"You bet! Have you also forgotten that I am a really good cooker? Would have thought it was common knowledge, above all after the meal I cooked for you yesterday!"

He shook his head.

"You're definitely the sexiest chef on Earth!" he beamed, leaning his head against my chest.

* * *

It was about midday when we arrived at the park I wanted to take him to, nearly an hour and a half drive away from Tokyo. The weather was sunny but there was a cold wind and it was hard to believe that we were sunbathing on the beach only three days ago. Trees were starting to wear their autumnal colours. Yellow. Brown. Red. Orange. It was beautiful. Afraid of getting a cold and losing his voice, Shuichi had put on a dark turquoise-blue scarf which suited his pink hair very nicely. I took the picnic basket out of the car boot and made my way to the park entrance, Shuichi walking happily by my side.

"I'm starviiiiiing!" He shouted. "Shouldn't we stop and have lunch?"

I glared at him.

"Shuichi, we've been walking for only five minutes! And how can you say you're starving after the six croissants you gulped earlier?!"

"Well, aren't you hungry, Yuki?"

"Alright, alright! Let's stop!" I surrendered. "What about this place next to that huge oak?"

"Perfect! Beautiful view on the lake!" He beamed.

He took the red and white napkin out of the basket and placed it onto the grass. He then took out the camcorder and put it on the bendable tripod stand, a few feet away from the napkin and pushed the recording button.

"Is this really necessary?" I asked, glaring at the camcorder.

"Yuki!! That's what we came here for!" He protested.

I rolled my eyes. Damn brat.

We sat on the napkin and I handed him a bento box.

"Thaaaanks! That looks awesome, Yuki!!"

I smiled and watched him raise his pair of wooden chopsticks into the air.

"Attack!!" He screamed.

Within two minutes, nothing was left in his bento. I rolled my eyes.

"Do you know it took me almost two hours to cook all that?" I sneered.

"No wonder it took you so long, that was absolutely delicious, Yuki!"

My mouth dropped open.

"I'm still hungry though," he added.

My face turned an ugly shade of blue and sweat ran from my forehead.

"You're lucky I'm gonna pass away soon, damn brat, otherwise I would just cut your throat off with a can's rusty lid!!" I shouted at him.

He gave me an incredulous look.

"Dear, that's awful! Sometimes I wonder why you get so easily annoyed Yuki. Relax a bit!"

I clapped my hand to my forehead and let myself fall backward onto the ground. He came close to me and munched my ear. My ear!

"You bastard!" I snapped at him.

He giggled childishly and smothered me with kisses. _The little fool. Perfectly knows how to make me melt away_. I wrapped my arms around him.

"I love you, Yuki…" He whispered.

I brushed his cheeks with the back of my hand.

"You're frozen," I told him, "we'd better get up and take a walk, that'll warm us"

He nodded and placed a light kiss on my mouth before standing up and put everything back into the picnic basket.

"You wait here, I'll just go and put it back to the car's boot. It will only take me a few minutes" I told him.

When I came back from the parking, I found him face to the oak, a knife in hand. My heart stopped beating.

"Shuichi, what the hell are you doing??" I asked in a cracking voice.

He winced and turned around, red faced, apparently fine but dying of embarrassment.

"Get out of the way," I said, pushing him away from the tree.

"Yuki… No!!"

_Y + S FOREVER _was carved in a heart across the oak. I couldn't help but smile.

"You impossible brat," I said fondly.

* * *

We had been walking for about twenty minutes when we came across a candyfloss stand. Shuichi stopped by and looked at it with glittering eyes. I smiled.

"Want one?"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!! Yuki Yuki Yuki Yuki Yuki Yuki….!!" He was screaming, jumping about like a kangaroo.

"Just shut up!" I snapped, "your voice is so annoying!"

He practically stole the candyfloss from me and gulped the pink sugar cloud within a few minutes. I rolled my eyes again. Sometimes I wonder if this boy is not on a sumo training or something. He grinned at me.

"You should have bought one for yourself too, Yuki!"

I stopped walking and stared at him. He had pink sugar stuck all around his mouth and even some on his nose and cheeks. The sight made me laugh.

"Yuki, what the heck?"

I placed my arm behind his neck and made him come closer to me.

"Come here my little sugar-plum!" I smirked.

Shuichi's eyes bulged when I started to lick my forefinger in a very suggestive kind of way and he stiffened when I placed my wet finger just above his mouth and started rubbing the sugar off.

"Just trying to remove all that sticky pink sugar," I explained, my mouth curling into a vicious smile, "you look worse than Kumagoro!"

Knowing perfectly well this was turning him on, I repeated the gestures as many times as it required to make him blush to the roots of his pink hair. He was gasping for air now. I gazed at him, a satisfied look on my face and whispered in his ear "Whatever you're thinking of, you'll have to wait until tonight, you little charmer!"

His mouth dropped open, and he pushed my arm away, frowning.

"You bastard!" He snapped at me before throwing himself into my arms and shoving his tongue into my mouth into a very wild kiss that woke up all my senses. _Dammit, I get caught in my own game_. Blasted little fool.

I was aware the scene had made some passers-by stop and that some of them were even taking photographs which would probably be on some gossip magazines' covers tomorrow, but once again, I couldn't give a fuck. Don't have time to worry about such little details anymore.

We slowly parted away and I bit my lower lip with frustration. He stared at me with a victory smile on his face.

"Whatever you're thinking of, you'll have to wait until tonight" He mimicked me.

"Damn brat" I replied with fondness.

_"I'm sorry but can I get your autograph, Mister Shindo?"_

_"Are you Eiri Yuki, the famous novelist?"_

_"It's him, it's him!! Shuichi-kuuuuuuuun!!"_

_"I love all your books!!"_

_"Can I take a picture of the two of you please?"_

I sighed. They would never leave us alone…

"Can't we have a minute of peace? Don't you have anything better to do than stalking us? Try and find that Aizawa guy from ASK, I'm sure he'll enjoy this much more than we do! But from now on, just let us live like normal people, that's what we are anyway! So no need to take a picture or ask for an autograph. Let us be and piss off you jerks!"

People were glaring at me and no one dared to speak. Gee! I had wanted to do that for so long and I would have done it much earlier if I had known how good that felt!

"Yuki…" whispered a flabbergasted Shuichi next to me.

I took his hand and walked away, making him follow me.

"Yuki… what was that all about?" he babbled once he caught up with me.

"Well, wasn't it funny?" I smirked. "At least they'll have something new to gossip about!"

"Oh well…" He let out, finally smiling too.

"So, what do you want to do now?" I asked.

"Dunno" He mumbled, looking around him.

He stopped in his tracks and I followed his gaze. To our left was a sign indicating 'Boat hire'

"Excellent idea! That'll be much quieter than here!" I said, walking toward the pier.

"Hey, wait for me Yuki!!" Shuichi shouted, running after me.

I gave a bill to the guy in the little booth near the pier. He gave us some instructions and the minute later, the two of us were sitting face to face in a small boat.

* * *

We started paddling in rhythm on the peaceful lake. Soon enough, the noises of the park faded away and my head finally started to be less painful. I gazed at our reflection on the water. An orange and yellow dead leaf fell onto the lake and made little waves spread around it, blurring our image. I looked up at Shuichi. He was absolutely stunning. The wind was caressing his hair and the sun gave his eyes a beautiful shade of lavender. His face blushed a little when he noticed my insistent gaze on him.

"Oh…I nearly forgot…" He said and stopped paddling.

He took the camcorder out of his bag and started filming me.

"Hey, what the hell do you think you are doing, damn brat?" I teased him, "do you really believe I'm gonna paddle on my own while you are resting, you lazy thing?"

He burst into laugh and I wondered how I'd once been able to find that laugh annoying. It had to be the cutest thing on Earth. _My heart would melt anytime I hear it. I'm gonna miss it a lot_. I sneered when I realised the absurdity of that statement. I stopped paddling. _I won't miss anything anymore where I'm going_. I decided to chase that thought away and joined my lover in laughing. Seize the day…

I then came closer to him and looked at him straight in the eye. I took the camcorder away from him and held it in my hand as far as I could, allowing it to film the both of us. With my free hand, I lifted up his chin. His eyes widened when I pressed my lips against his in a very sweet kiss. I don't know how long it lasted but I savoured every second of it. I wanted time to stop by. I wanted us to stay like this forever. In our very own little universe…

* * *

_Thanks for reading! I worked really hard on this chapter, and yet I am not happy with it at all, but hey! Don't hesitate to review whether you like it or not! :-)_


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